Lend us a Quid
I wouldn’t be so crass as to ask you to buy me a cup of coffee (besides, coffee to me comes in a jar - one with ‘Nescafe’ printed on the label). In fact, I only speak on behalf of the Distressed Writers’ Fund to remind you that the option is always there should you feel compelled to make a modest donation to a decent chap who has provided you with a sizeable amount of free entertainment if you’ve made it this far. Come on, ye tight git.
PS: Belated thumbs-up to Finlay McGougan. Much appreciated. Ditto Jesse Watson, Jeffrey Moss, Sheila Green, John Priest and Malcolm Smith.